ok, so.... got rejected

which is nothing new to this field of work. it is so competitive, there are only limited spots, people are bound to not get in. even though it's hard, i wouldn't choose any alternative easy route to the destination, just because it is not the best-of-the-best; i only want the best for myself.

so i spent a couple of days moping over it, it was the first time i got rejected, which it sometimes can be a bit hard.

i think i conjured up in my mind.. that .. in order to feel worthy, to feel like my efforts were not put to waste, to feel like i was.. substaintially "smart" and could match up to those elites within the field... i needed it. and i needed it to indicate to myself that i was smart. i know of quite a few people who think exactly like me... i suppose it can be a good motivation, but when u don't achieve it... you feel really let down. i know this post contradicts what i wrote in my previous blog, but i am human and i am real. i can only deal with my emotions as they come, sometimes they are not as i anticipate it to be.

i suppose rejection will always hurt, but you learn to deal with it and soon it becomes more bearable.

this is enough for the night, enough for the weekend. need to relax it out, take a deep breath and keep working hard.