what makes nye so special?
i'll tell you.
it's reminding you, all the good that has come from '07.

it's being proud of what you have achieved during the year - and at the same time, how you can make the year coming, just as good.
this year.. wow.
i have to admit, it has been such an amazing year.

so last nye kicked off to a really really bad start.
and what was worse..
relationship wise, he & i kept having so many arguments.
but that ended soon.. and i found myself again
i found my independence again..
i'm proud of that - i really am.
& at the same time, i'm proud of what i have achieved at school..
first time i actually sang a solo .. haha~
plunged myself into quite a few school events
and at the same time, i did put effort into the school work.....
proves one thing, if you try - it's achievable
something i have to keep in mind for next year.
family wise.. we've had to pull through a lot this year
the good, the bad.... but we're tank :) HEROES~~
and nothing means more to me than my family (even my brother, and he is smelly too)
my friends.. well, their continuous support for me is .. WORDS ARE INDESCRIBABLE.
i need them, to stop me from going insane.
each one of them are so important to me............. and no one else could replace this great bunch.
and lastly, ofcourse my year would not end so nicely
without mr. ben lee~
i had a dnm with tina before... and i started the 'what if'
but being as lovely as tina is, she just says: take it as it goes.
& i realise, yea - i'm taking whatever as it goes. enjoying every bit of what we have
and i'll continue soaking in these memories.....
whatever the future brings for us, i'm ready for it.
you're a keeper, from now 'til always.
& thank you for making my life just THAT MUCH better

hello! long time no blog!

yes.... tis been quite a while :)
i must say, hormones are one of the most horriblest things in the world
because it can be, dangerously intriguing.. at the same time
make you feel, plain SICK. SORE. SHIT.

ok - moving on ^_^
i am good now, i am fine... !
infact, i'm a lil tired.

today.... went shopping yo!!!!
got tony biancos..... and a jacket.... ~ yay!
i think i need a more.. casual jacket.
the ones i have a quite... sporty-like.
so anyway, when we were having lunch.. dad was talking about the
$30 million.... tattersall draw... muhahahHAH
dad's just like " yeah, if we had a million, we wouldn't even have to work. just chuck it into the bank, watch interest increase our money."
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. + i said, if we won the $30 million, i'd have a car for each day of the week :)
kthnx.

but speaking of money, i rmber watching oprah, i think?
and some experiment was made on this really poor beggar.. and he was given a million dollars.
so the guy has never seen this much money, which he found in this rubbish dump (wish i was that lucky.)
and so when he has the moeny.. he has no idea what to do with it.. he starts walking on the streets and giving out free money.
soon after that, you see that he starts wasting his money and in the end, he has no money left. none. zilch. ZERO.
now, the thing is.. the experiment, emphasized on giving money to the poor.
it actually made it sound like - never give money to the poor, because they don't know how to use it properly.

that annoyed me.
beggars don't want to be born in the life they are given..
they don't wish to constantly find a new shelter, scavenge for food, beg for money..
who would like to be in that position?
the show was giving a major generalization.. that these people should never be trusted upon.
IF this man was educated when he was young
IF this man was taught true values when he was young
then maybe perhaps, he would know how to deal with so much money, how to save.

which leads, to how important learning is to human beings.
it pisses me off to see people.. reaching 16 or so, and dropping out of school
those who.. don't know how lucky they are to receive education.
those who don't have the endurance to pull through 2 - 3 years in their life
which could potentially be the best years of their lives.
it's aNNOYING.

okay i can't blog anymore, maybe later

<3>
miss bb

christmas eve

(:
went to the big big BIG xmas tree
and got my xmas presenttttttttt (L)
went to eat korean food~ yaY!
bb can't handle spice!
fed square, carols by candlenight
LOVELOVELOVE

everybody meet.. buddy!



buddy has his own style..



and his own girl ;)



best christmas ever! thankyou bebeeeeee~



holiday happy snaps~

i'm kinda sick of having so many earrings
i think i will take a few out :]

it's that time again....

christmas.
my favourite time of the year.
i always sound gay when i write about this stuff.. but christmas is about sharing love and happiness. last year.. i spent an awful xmas eve and nye with a bunch of people who just cared about getting drunk- yes, i too had a bit too much to drink. left me with incidents which haunted me the whole year, and still does. i promised myself to never let it happen, ever again.. and it hasn't :) and it won't ever.

christmas brings happiness.. not on a superficial level. it's spirit, gives us all hope and joy. but what is happiness? happiness.. is being content. is being satisfied where you are, and what you're doing.. & you wouldn't rather be anywhere else. happiness is giving a smile from the heart, it is.. being happy (:

*

umm y'day
celebrated b's bday.....
lol, i won't write much about it
BUT.. we had a good time
and... HE SMILED! :O
& that's all that matters
it's a good feeling, to know that u can make someone happy.

ummmmm THUANS 218
good stuff... :)
cousin picked me up
omg... he has cocky friends (N)
pmo.
okayyyyyyyyyyy

and today is......................
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY DARWIN TRUONG!
:) wishing u all the best, always! & hope u have a greeeat day :)
although, i know you're coming over soon LOL =D

i don't have much to rant about these days
although, reading rosie's blog made me feel like writing
about what? i do not know.
i like to write about different issues.... different relationships
and a lot of the time, i reflect back upon myself.

there are a lot of people, who make me - me.
i don't exactly know how they do it.. but they do.

*

BK!
you're GAY. when i finally picked up my life again, hoping to life an independant life FROM THEN ON...... you decide to step in and drop a bomb on me. yet, i don't hate you for that. you've showed me a new meaning, on how things should really be. thank you for doing so much for me... for providing me so much love that i could never imagine. time will tell our story, time will tell our adventure. an adventure i'm willing to share with you :)

my darling rachel..
you are my rock. you know so much, although you don't say very often. when we have our lil gay dnm's .. u give me great insight, great advice. you're always by my side.. and even when i feel like i'm in the deepest humiliation, you don't laugh at me - yet you give me the courage for me to get back onto my two feet. i know i can trust you, trust that you are on the on the call 24/7 and trust that you will keep my secrets safe within your two hands. thank you for being my light in my darkest moments, for being my best friend who i can trust my life with. and you too - are my significant other :)

dingdongdarren..
you put up with me so much. lol, in fact, i feel sorry for you sometimes. i bug you all the time and yet you still haven't chucked a major spaz at me. darren, thank you for being one of my closest friends. i value your friendship and appreciate being able to call you up at 3am to talk about my "issues". you make lame jokes, you bag me quite a bit - but i love you for that. i sincerely mean it, when i say you deserve the best. you deserve someone who gives you the amount of love you give them... because you're great like that :)

george wonton...
i don't recall us ever having a fight, but i know if a fight ever came up.. i'd win :) i'm strong :) haha. you are very mature, very unique. and that's what i like about you. you're not afraid to stick up for yourself, and you're true to who you are. thank you for the times when i needed someone to talk to.... for the times i think irrationally, and you wake me up by calling me a BIG FAT BABY. ALTHOUGH you are younger than me, i look up to you like a big brother (L)

elmerphurr..
we've been friends for so long. although, you are not the brightest crayon in the box, you are still a crayon - lol. we've been through thick and thin..... and when we did have our fights, you would always let me win. i know you hate corny stuff... so i'm not going to write much.. but i want you to know that, you will always be my friend. no matter how little we talk or how rarely we see each other.. you will be one of my closest friend which i hold close to my heart.

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
i am in so much pain..........
i can just sit still and feel my back burning.....
it doesn't look attractive either. sigh.

so........ xmas soon! YES!
so sooooooooon! should be time to see the xmas lights...
and go to myers and just soak in the atmosphere.
it's lovely (L)
nothing to blog about anymore... HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
OK?
ok.

*

i have a best friend..
her name is RACHEL NGNONG
she is the bestest friend i could ever have~

happy 18th birthday my darling <3>

woke up......
dfo'd with the daddyy
and then took train/tram to st kilda beach
was in BIG pms mode.... but i got over it!
had fun @ the beach ... ummm yes to beach hair?
BUT got heaps burnt... and i mean, HEAPS. painful :(
went to 2 restaurants after that
good meals, good laughs
love my bb

it fucking pisses me off
to see people doing nothing with their lives.
esp those around me
those.. non-stop complainers..
all they can do, is dwell in their own misery - and ask for some sympathy
you're not going to get any from me.
pick your sorry ass up, and move on
you're running a race, it's not time to stop.


"the yesterday is history, the tomorrow is a mystery.
today is a gift, which is why we call it present."
_____________________________________

" add the same study score that u got, and that's probably what she got "
L0L.

on another note
someone is turning into a big man tmr
..... SOUNDS LIKE FUN! :)

report

so the other day..
dad was like: hey, there's a BIG ENVELOPE FOR YOU
- woo to reports.
i'm going to have a lil rant about my report.. because i'm not a happy chappy about it.

1. exam results
so... the only exam result i could really be proud of was my interpol. chinese... I SHOULD NOT have gotten what i got, because the exam was pretty good. we all finished w/ like an hour to go.. but there was this section.. which was putting the sentences in order. now.. i'm going to complain, because i felt the sentences didn't make sense itself. i'm pretty sure i put it in a GOOD LOGICAL ORDER - BUT I GUESS NOT. all three of us got it wrong. HM. chem and meth.. was quite annoying too. okay - i tried harder in chem.... AND YET THE RESULTS SHOWED THE SAME THING. ARHGSDFHGSKJHG. ++ i'm wondering if meth was scaled. HRM?? ps. mogilevski is leaving next year ------- THANK GOD
2. year book
i don't usually complain about the year book.. because i think it's pretty sweet. this year's had a good front cover.. but if you decide to quickly flip through the book.... YOU SEE THESE HORRIBLE PICTURES OF ME. when i mean horrible.. i mean, catching me off guard... or that i was feeling retarded and i did some cheesy grin... hoping the pic wouldn't be in the year book. there's like 4 - 5 horrible pictures of me.... ergh V_V
3.money
my school is freak'n gay. sends me my report, my year book.. then all these notes saying: you have to pay for this and this and this and this. THAT'S NOT A GOOD WAY TO END MY YEAR , IS IT? so first up... we've got our school fees i have to confirm about my payment methods b/c i didn't send (i didn't get the note either) some form back. next, registration fees..... like omg. and then after that, there's like... a freakn note for camp payments... (and i reread the note 325413452435 times, and it still, it says we're staying for one night only. that means..... one sleep.... like, is that camp still?) and then the major one comes........ in a separate envelope. i opened it up, and it's the china trip form saying.. YOU HAVE TO PAY $354354254235345. ok - what a blow. and to top things off, they want it all in before 1st of feb - ha. very funny.

i think my end of year report package is probably the worse out of everyone's.

way-to-go olsh.

*

new experiences doesn't necessarily mean visiting new places
sometimes, it just means that you re-visit places, with a new set of eyes.

there are so many things i admire about you
at times, you can be so complicated... but simple - at the same time.
your ability to understand me in depth,
your logical mind,
your intelligence,
your maturity.
& i know, there are plenty of girls out there
searching for someone like you...
someone who possesses so many good qualities.
at the same time... able to provide a relationship
love, care, patience and loyalty
i pride myself in you.. knowing that, i have such a great person
in front of me, in my life..
i pride myself in knowing..
that you chose me to be with
- and no one else for that matter.
i know you can read me.. i know that.
b/c i know that night, when i looked into your eyes (tad cheesy)
you could read what was going on in my mind.
& i assure you, people like you.. don't come around often in my life.
i smile, knowing i can watch a movie, walk around on the streets, catch a bus or a train...
hand in hand with you - all the way.

*
went w/ bb today to watch
PS. I LOVE YOU
SWEET movie...... ^_^
made me cry a few times.
not too much of a hilary swank fan.... too much like jennifer garnier
YUPYUP
now happy chappy <3


"god give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that can be changed, and the wiSdom to distinguish the one, from the others" - anonymous.

okay...
y'day woke up early and went to hp w/ the girls + khang
then saw bb
we went to pick up vicki :(
poor baby! she was in pain when the vet put that
salt water stuff on her :(
ya... she vomited on the way home.. luckily not on me! haha~
poorrrrr bb!
just had lunch w/ my baby rachell!
I MISSED HER A LOT
shes the best.
BB'S grading tonight
SENDING YOU ALL THE LUCK I CAN GIVE U! <3

PS. did i mention.. i got my dress :)




*
when you put your trust in a friend
you'd hope, they appreciate you back - right?
stuff you.
STUFF YOU.

a blog about nothing

title speaks for itself.
feeling NOTHINGNESS.
just a tad annoying.
i think i would probably piss everyone off if i didn't think before i spoke
cos i'm feeling like i could potentially piss myself off too.
i am a weird bug :(

maybe i've been in the house for too long.
or that i've been lazy/sleeping for too long.
shall shutup for now.

HMM ding a ling..!
yday, went to BLA..... lol,
fun day was allllll good :)
we went on major high cos we were concentrating so much during the day!! =)
lunch was good
new favourite: kimchi fried rice
dinner was good n
o favourites there... oh apart from dumplings which was, always will be a favourite

i love.. love love love
trying new foods!
esp w/ him lol ...... + i like going to BLA
that is it.

- tammy's world is always a happy world :)
thnx




*

here, infront of me .. is a white plate... very clean, very new... with absolutely nothing on it.
i'm happy with the way it is.. because
i choose what goes on the plate.. what i like, and what i dislike
yet on some other people's plates...... is nothing
but yet, when they are offered something - whether good or bad
they choose to take it
so really, their plates are full of rubbish.

this is the thing that really pisses me off
it pisses me off, to see people who don't think
or that.. people who just let things off the hook, because they just simply don't want to
use their brains, ponder over it a bit more.

the other day, i went to church....
wasn't catholic, was an evangelical church.
so it starts off all good.. and stuff
then comes the part where.. we had to sing
the pastor and his wife... were doing the talking.. and says "please join in, even those non-Christians who don't know this song"
... excuse me?
why should i be referred to as a non-Christian?
although it was a bit indirect.. but i know, everyone in the church WAS Christian.. apart from my family.
it pisses me off to know that.. in a church where their ideas and morals and TALKS are portrayed as "acceptance of others"
and yet..... just because, i'm a middle-classed Catholic.. i am referred to as different.
the pastor talks about a church.. accepts beggars, the poor...... (+ i am considered poor because i haven't found "God" yet.)
i'm sorry, but i don't think i would not go into a church
who doesn't accept ME for ME.
are we also to say that, God won't accept me for me?
because i'm simply, not Christian?
even if i DO believe that there is a God up there?

the other thing.. is that...
spirituality vs. reality
two, very abstract things.
lets start with the individual
so......... within us, we have a spirituality side of us.
the extent of it's importance within us varies from person to person - depending on experiences and how much you have developed as a person.
BUT if we have INDIVIDUAL VS. COLLECTIVE
then, for sure - the collective must have influence on the individual
ok - so i went to church.. and the pastor tells us, seeing as the church has just started
to donate 10% of how much you make each week, to the offering
lol, okay i put it a bit direct - because a church would never pressure you like that, would they?
because it's more about God.. and how he wants us to come together
in order for us to come together, we need a church, thus we need YOUR money to build it.
what about if we took.. COLLECTIVE VS. COLLECTIVE
ie. CHURCH VS. POLITICS
very subtle, but the church does have a major impact on politics
because ofcourse, it's majorly powerful
and this is what the world is made of
pOWER POWER POWER POWER
dominating those who are weak.

ok that had absolutely nothing to do with what i had to say... infact, i'm confusing myself.
this is truly my beliefs.. and whoever reads this
please don't hurt me. kthnx.
i, myself, believe in God
but God is not my way of life..
because God only assists me in life
i do not believe that, God is right next to me right now and watching me blog this
God is up there, with a set of rules.. telling me what is right or wrong
but because i have my own conscious, my own mind.. i am given the choice
to choose... which path to go down. i'm not going to DIE if i make the wrong choice (unless .. it's real fatal :| )
but, i will learn from my own mistakes
at the same time, those around me....
try and persuade me.. that they really know, what God wants.. what God is like
that.. God will get angry if i do this, God will be happy if i do that
what would you know?
have you been to heaven? spoken to God lately?
i will not let anyone push me into a box of thoughts, telling me how i should be thinking.

*

take #2
stupid idiot.
i'm not just a 17 year old.
i'm not clueless, because i do know a lot
so don't act like you know everything either
in the end, i will make better choices than you are making right now.

well.....
IN THE MORNING
saw chris .. and then my baby rach! (L)
i missed her so ~~
:)
train was delayed... PAIN IN THE BUM
went to b's
he suprised me w/ a nice lunch
lazed aroundd!
went home
TRIED making dutch mini pancakes
but i don't have the recipe so it turned out real gross......
SOOOO IT MEANS i have to go to market to eat it :) weeeeeee~~~

currently watching grey's anatomy....
hahahaa it's funny :)
i think i might become.... obsessed w/ this series! uh oh!!!!!!!!!
+ watched victoria's secret
.... i really don't understand that stuff
how can you possibly have, a 1 million dollar set of lingerie....
i really don't think it's the lingerie that sells, more so the girls
then again - what would i know?
superficially obsessed much? naw.
anyway
BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
tutor starts TMR! SLEEP EARLY! KBYE =)

OOOOOOOOOKAY
quick recap
cos i really cbb right now

today, woke up latee
went out to each lunch w/ the parents ~ and brotherrr
after.... cousins came over
left to buy cake
then went to church.......
ALL THE WAY, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN
b' came
saw his parents..... lol (no comment just yet.)

and that is all.....
hmmmmmm
where is he!?
what is he doing?!
:(
IMH
ok byeeeeeeeee

hahahahaha. gawd. i love disney. i love disney!!! I LOVE DISNEY~!
ok... so like, update shall we?!
woke up.. and took the train to b's!
was VERY very sleepy..
so we slept ^_^ v
ate mi goreng.. ~ and then tammy went to work!
was quiet at work...
SIGH* such a pain in the butt. when you're super tired, and you still have to manage
to pull a smile to impress customers T_T....... not cool!
after.. went to tommy's
lol, everyone was just drinking..... and throwing cheezos at each other. lovely.
stayed for the cake then went home

*

"Friendship is a slippery notion. We lose friends as we change and our friends don't, or as we form other alliances, or as we betray our friends or are ourselves betrayed. We often make friends for the weakest of reasons - proximity, for example, or shared experiences, or laziness or need - but what will make them endure as friends? Their similarity to us? Their utter difference from us?" -TDW

how do i start this rant? because there is TONNES of things i want to say.. but the trouble is, working out how to fit it all in.

at first, i thought.. yea - it's probably going to be a big loss in my life. until JV pointed out to me, "do you really need them in your life?" .. so i reflected, on the good(if there were any) and the bad times. i realise, you were a bad influence on me. and it's not only my own self's realisation... but also the ones around me. it was like, you showed me a side of myself.. which was so naive, so innocent, so superficial - to everything i really am.

change is inevitable. but now, it is myself who has changed - not you. and i'm proud of this change. i don't need to fit in, i don't need to be a sheep.. and follow what ever it is that you do. i don't need to get myself into a muddle... creating a mask to show a side of me, which isn't me in the first place. i don't need fake happiness.

i don't care if we are never friends again, or if we ever become acquaintances in the near future. you are, and always will be, as stubborn as you are - and it's not a positive thing either. if you never step down from that pedal stool you put yourself up on, and start realising the importance of those around you - then you will never know what it means to have real friends. those you can rely on truly - those who you set apart from your superficial friends. you don't know what it means to apologise, you don't know what it means to accept an apology, you have too much pride and this is all because you are plain spoilt. grow up - start learning.

*

as each day approaches to an end, i feel as though.. i learn so much about myself. i can truthfully say, i feel secure. i feel secure within myself, because i've found myself. i've found the real me. the real tammy - that splurts out whatever's on her mind. the real tammy - that thinks so much, and it simply feels okay to think a lot. the real tammy - that finds the pleasures in the little things in life. blinded by many incidents and people, going through different experiences... finally let me find the real tammy - and thank god i found her. (okay... i feel so fob right now)

and this self identity.. doesn't stop growing. because now i've found a companion... who understands me so well. who not only sees the good in me, but brings out the best in me. at the same time, he cares for me and looks after my wellbeing.. he makes me part of his life - centre of his attention. at times (because i'm such a bitch) i find it hard to tell him.. how much he means to me. his impact is so great.. that every little thing he says - matters.

thank you for being so different, so unique..
thank you for coming into my life
because you, too, have coloured my world.

currently listening to: MULAN(DiSNEY!!) - I'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU

so.. i woke up this morning
and i got a phonecall
... who was standing at my front door?
bb!
:)
came all the way to see me....
did a lil work, lazed around
then went to chaddy
watched heartbreak kid... (not-so-great movie)
and then went to clayton to eat korean food!

*

spending time with him....
makes me appreciate and cherish those moments he makes me smile
baby - thankyou for taking 345435435 hrs of train/bus ride, just to come see me
thankyou for making my day..... haha - knowing u do so much for me
did make up for the day you came late!
~ i don't think i can stress to you, how greatful i am
for everything you do for me
+ the fact that, you ARE special to me
and you ARE important to me

and that i want to keep you by my side.... for always (L)

ok...
b/c i am totally obsessive about my hair colour
it's time for a new change
i'm thinking... lighter?
ya?

so here's a pic of my cousin.... IN QLD......
and yea, she has an awesome hair colour (the girl on the right btw)



ok----------- back to work! :)


*

and she continues:
so then, i went to the dentist w/ my mummy...
and like, i love my dentist right?
his a nice man! and his wife is the helper... w/e u call it
so like he always compliments me.. tells me i'm a good girl
nice teeth, pretty face (lol?) and so on.....
then he just gives me a massive big present...............
it's like bb buying me a nice looking pair of shoes
and then when i try it on BAM!!!!!!!! it doesn't fit.
yea, it's as bad as that
BECAUSE I HAVE TO GET MY TEETH FIXEDDDDD V_V
like.... scary stuff. i looked through the brochure and i got totally freaked out.
starts in march...... G_G
anyway, so after that mum takes me to springyyyyy and we have viet food lolll
yellow pancake. we found a place that was, although small, but the food was CLEAN and GOOD ^_^
was pretty content after my meal.
then mum just starts talking about relationships with me
and talks about how her and dad met....... like zomg. history. hahaha but never the less, it was still good
it's always good to talk to my mum :)
after that, met up with g...
was gonan go to tommy's but it was too packedddddd
so we went to lilli's image (yes rach, its the place where the lady stuffed up ur hair + it was the same lady)
so he dyed his hair with like purple bits and got it cut
with this emo look
lol.... looks pretty good :] i reckon
anywayyyyy~ need to do more work :) ~~~~~~~ i think
like, omg spesh takes so long
have to get my bro to teach me too :(
oh well
TIME TO KICK VCAA'S BUMMMMM~ GO TEAM TAMMY!

currently listening to: MAROON 5 - AS THINGS COLLIDE

ok. so i was watching neighbours while eating
and yknow...... IF YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING NEIGHBOURS
NED (mighty fine) and his ex gf are like stuck cos their car broke down
can't get to party..
so they dnm.
they talk about their past.. how there was a misunderstanding.. when in fact
this and this and this happened.
so his ex gf does the talk..
' can u imagine, what if we had worked it all out.. we would be so great right now '
(ps. i hate that girl, terrible acting skills and i hate her character)
<< >>
ok so here's the thing.
the 'what if' talk, the 'what if' thought...
fucks people up - seriously.
like, when i mean it stuffs people up
some like to go off and do something totally irrational to make themselves feel better
doesn't change a thing, and most likely - will not make you feel better
too much pondering.
'what if' i studied that much harder
'what if' i had treated her better
'what if' i didn't binge on so much alcomahol~

life... life, is about choices.
the choices we make, determine who we are
how strong our willpower is.
how much we're willing to put in
how much we will gain in the end

contemplating on how we could have made it better, to make the situation we are in - better?
it's all about getting your head around it
acknowledging mistakes, but heading towards a new beginning

regrets... we all have. focusing on the what if's is a waste of time
because what's important right now, is the what is.

*

went out to yumcha w/ the relliess
major chitchat w/ connieee~
its'all good :)
went to loc's and bought him cake
yeah - need to start work
miss my bb
rach called, miss her too lol :)
end.

b was late today :(
but itsall good =)
went to MYO and made this awesome nICE TASTING PIZZA!! beb& i share similar tastebuds...
but he .... loves meat more than i do lol
after went and chilleddddddddd (L) was good
cute doggie kept jumping all over him HAHhahahaa it was a cool dog!!
after.... bb went to meet the parents *DUNDUNDUN*
FELT LIKE today was gonna be a %@!#@#$ day
but it was all good, talking to him is good, laughing with him is great
being with him.... is indescribable.

*

so i always hear people say..
" the chase is always the best part of the relationship "
yea - at one point i continued to believe that
DO YOU KNOW WHY the chase is the best part?
because during the chase, your want is at it's peak point
because you want it so badly..... that you can't resist (ya - quite raunchy if u ask me)
but it's also because.. you see the goodness in the opposition
because you care, or that you want to care for the opposition at a deeper level
it's because you cherish the times you have w/ them by ur side
and it makes you want more of it
those who believe chase is the best part of the relationship......
LACKING a lil somethin'
and that, my friend, is consistancy.
the constant reminder that .. what i have is good.. no it's better than good - it's WONDERFUL
and if u keep reminding, keep cherishing and nurturing.....
you'll soon realise.. the chase is not only the best part, because what you have - that's the best part.

-------- on a different note:
so at first, when he told me... i was thinking
@^%#$@%^#$@!^%$^%#@*$%@$*#@!$(#&!@^
this girl, has no right.
she has no right at all to barge in & attempt to ruin something we have
(even though i don't know if she knows abt us or not)
thinking about how i was feeling that split second...
i would have been really cheesed off
i would have been really REALLY pissed off
and swear at her... ha!
but i'm not like that.. perhaps that would have been my actions back then, but now it's not.
because he made it clear, he didn't want to have anything to do with it
..... do i?
no. i don't need this, he doesn't need this.
we've got something special going on...
& nothing is going to break it apart.

PJs DAY@ BB'S
went to buy lunch & food for vicki!
she is sosososo cute! :)
umm.. shep's pie is good, so is mi goreng (he binged on it .. ergh)
major lazy day
bbbbbb has val'dictory right now
tried styling his hair.. LOL
can manage girl's but not guy's.. must practise!
on the other hand
rachel is going to rosebud tmr
my second best baby, have fun + be good :)

^________^*

loves him more and more
each and every day
good mood t'day

currently listening to: CHRIS BROWN - WITH YOU

hmm...
i love christmas. i absolutely love christmas.
for those who know me well, know that i absolutely lovelOVELOVE christmas
it's not about the superficial materialistic christmas .. presents - yeah, they're great.. (apart from the times you get some crappy present you never use... ie. bath soap - like, who takes a bath these days? haha)
no... i love christmas, because i love the christmas spirit.
my parents are working most days of the year.. christmas time is the time where they get to have a TRUE day off with the family, and ofcourse we see the relliessss (L)
i love christmas lights..
i love walking into shopping centres and seeing the deco's
i love listening to christmas carols..
i love watching christmas cheesy movies
i love spending time, with the ones i love.

& ofcourse, this christmas will not be an exception - because once again, i will share it with the ones i love :)

*
- hmm -
this topic has come up quite a few times within these few years..
we're all human - we're not machines.. and we can't work ourselves to the best we can always be..
when it first happened, yeah - we were all emotionally devastated..
like miri says, "time doesn't erase.. but makes things more bearable"
& that's just how it is...
but what if, it's still bearable... but yet, the end of the race is hard to see? infact, it can't even be seen..
do we give up? even when we are clueless, if there is any hope at all?
" dw, it'll come tmr. a miracle will come tmr "
but how many tmr's do we have to live through? how long do we have to wait?


currently listening to: ROB POPE - A DROP IN THE OCEAN