a few things happened today
which made me feel like such a horrible person.
and i can't believe i tried to redeem myself by putting a donation in for the legacy appeal.

i really hate myself right now
i hate the horrible and mean things i actually think about, let alone say out loud
i present myself as such an irrational person
but deep down, i do think about my actions - like right now
and i regret so much..
i truly do.

*

i had an argument with a "friend" yesterday
everyone actually refuses to see the good in you
and i.. so innocently refused to listen to others
i absolutely hate it when people think they know me
my s/o told me that..'he' was just angry
which led him to say some of the things he did say
but i dont believe that bullshit at all.
infact, i think a glimpse of your truthfullness was let out
don't try...nor begin to THINK you know me
at the slightest.
you don't know what i've been through, or what i have felt in my experiences
and you certainly have no right to believe that i don't know who i am.
life is about constant questioning, answers are not always straight forward
but i continue to seek.
so don't give me your shitty 'i've been there, done that'
or even 'i ask myself these things, so i know myself better'
i can't believe you even insinuated that i was some what of a 'sheep'
GOD. look at yourself.
'i'm a realist'
yeah, bullshit you are.

i will never give you the benefit of the doubt.

right now, there are some certain things i am incredibly incredibly inCREDIBLY in love with.

floral prints... i think these actually go pretty well for a person like me, who pretty much always wears black. i am so evil har har. but yes, the print on that girl's dress reminds me of penny's PJ bottoms (from BBtheory)... i actually saw those PJs at peter alexander... and they were on sale, and as i would.. i would not buy it and now regret it a lot.

all things pink, nude... which reminds me of a ballerina! i was actually very peculiar about a particular nude nail polish, it was almost tan brown and just made your nails look like as though you don't have nails at all. however, this girl across my table one day had it on - looked so good :( so now, i am slightly in love with it. i have yet to buy it.

these leggins. oh-my-gawd.

these TB boots.. (if you're reading this em, i already got them cos i found them at chaddy!) i wouldn't mind this other pair either, just because they are very cute.

and finally.. on LB and found this. there is something about it that makes me love it lots. outfit recieves a tick, shoes are a +++++ and her fringe... well, let's jsut say i'm so tempted to cut my lopsided fring into that straight, perfect and light bangs she has.

ok that's it. these photo blogs take so much effort! <3

sometimes a girl needs a bit more than just the 'deep love' that he offers.
sometimes, a girl needs that on-the-surface bit of love and affection
she needs a guy to care a little more, to take the time to read about her thoughts on things, to ask her whether she is sick or not, to ask about her day....
- instead of being so self centred all the time.
because as much as she gives, she hopes at the same time....
hopes he will one day understand and act upon it

is there something very wrong going on?

i'm trying to be understanding, but whenever you leave...
i go through the same thing.
i can only give so much.

i am actually really tired

its 9.30am...

:|

i bought a new scarf y'day

oh dear :(

BUT ITS PINK! AND I LOVE PINK!

going to look for a new job ...

when i sleep and wake up again

cos this is seriously bad

my brain is working at .05km/hr

and sheez and i need to do my accounting hw which i have no idea how to do

YAYERS!

and apparently i am getting a massage tnight

but i dont think i feel comfortable paying someone to massage me

hmmm...........

quite embarassing y'day

i am so dumb T_T"

oh well, shrug it off

and move on!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOK BLOG LATERS

ohh and imma thinking of selling my clothes on ebay

or getting a store in camberwell market

but the thing i hate is, i'd hate selling it and after a few months

think of an outfit

and then realise

my PIECE OF CLOTHING IS MISSING

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

so i need to sit on it. for a bit.

any opinions??

PS. I DO/WILL NOT SELL MY SCARF COLLECTION!

uni-eeeeeeee again!

i hope i dont get stuck with a dud for ata I PRAY TO GOD PLEASE DON'T STICK ME WITH A DUD PARTNER, I AM ALREADY NOT-VERY-KNOWLEDGEABLE AS IT IS :(

SO pleaseeeeeeeee! let there be someone good @ 5pm thurs ata tutorial :(

on a diff note,

ben is going to qld tmrs! lucky lucky! he is going to some place off the coast, and his ticket coasted 1000bucks! lucky he doesn't have to pay for it... he prob gets to stay at an awesome resort too! ah wells, MAYBE we will go qld at the end of the year - we'll see!

i am currently so-in-love with pink. baby pink, nude pink, hot pink. tis very nice with black. i have a lot of black clothes! i am also in search of a gold scarf.. dark goldenish scarf! i recently got some goodies off ebay - a new cardi and agnes b wallet~ woohoo~

i realise now.. how many scarves i actually have in my closet. dad had to put up 2 sets of hangers for all my scarves, picture blog next time~

lover and i might be going to see dolphins next sat! i'm excited!! it's a long drive to sorrento!!

lately, i've been spending money on little things - i tihink it makes me feel better than actually buying items of clothing. ie. nail polish, scarves, food!

oh wells :):) i have a job now! muhehehehe i mean, i'm not earning A LOT but it's ok for the time being.

i need to put in my resume for some accounting firms tbh, hopefully i'll get a part time job.

uni life is back to lunch with massive group on tues, and thurs dates with von~

she just got a new cruze haha happy to the max! very funny when she drove it over the other day, we were pressing any button we could find in the car!!

anyhows, i'm offffff! :) blog soon again!

haha my english is so bad