i've thought about writing this several times
and i have actually begun writing this more times than i've thought about it...
so, here it goes:

i once said to myself that i have the courage and ability to be without you
to erase the memories we once collected and begin fresh.
i am still able to do this..
but i know, if i did
i will have lost one of the most beautifulest soul i have ever stumbled upon in my life

it's true, i have the most fun when you're around
when we're busy jammin' like crazy on the guitar
when we're not saying a word because we're too busy scoffing down a 1kg steak
when we have our saturday afternoon snoozes and wake up late to go eat
when you do a boxing wrap up on my hand with the material and finally cuts off my circulation
or when we're playing our winking game :)

no one compares to you
and everytime you tell me you have to go
my heart shatters just a tad
because i wish that i could keep you in my pocket and carry you around all day
:(
i love u
and miss u dearly
and am now anticipating til the next time i see ur bubbly face!

NOTE: this started off serious, then i had too much fun recalling memories. haha

hello hello!!

so friday night was the formal ~
best nightt everrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!
got to the point where i was like.. cbf going
but then it was exciting getting dressed and stuff
and then being there
with my friends
and my wonderful
wonderful
wonderful
boyfriend!

<3 here are the snaps....................! firstly.. my hair because i was quite proud of it couldn't decide up or down in the end, the s/o said up sooooooooooooooo up it is! (ps. he is terrible at taking 'hair shots')






and yep
the night was funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ~ fun funfun

i know that for me,
when i'm caught up in a moment
or immersed in an idea or a want
i will do anything to achieve it

however, i also know that
i have the ability the control myself
and just sit, contemplate
and soon the crazy ideas in my head disappear

sometimes, that's all you need
some self reassurance.

self reassurance.
funny thing, i keep bringing it in and kicking it out in my life
it always finds its way back to me
and i don't need anyone to tell me
or help me
because.....

i can do it on my own....

...hmm, that was quite in and out random thoughts....
which doesn't make sense to anyone but myself !

i'm feeling lonely
and it's not just the type of lonely where you feel like everyone has turned their backs on you
or that they have just forgotten about you
no..
i feel lonely on the inside.
no one and no words
can fill this emptiness.

*