at times i'm ready to give up what i have.
to start over and find something new...

but in the end, i'd be going around in
circles,
and circles,
and circles...
looking for someone, just like you.

why bother?

so i had a real shiat week last week
made me alllllllllll depressed (not over-exaggerating here.)
but i suppose, i'm ON the road to recovery - i hope

eventful long weekend..
friday night:
so tempted to just tell him to get his ass right here
to comfort me
(oh lord, i am such a baby)
didn't end up happening
ON THE OTHER HAND......
stayed home, watched friends .. and that was my night

saturday:
took pt to essendon
waited like a zillion years before he picked me up
went back to his place, made a GOOD LUNCH
was yuummmm ~
and then went to play baddy (like, omg - i haven't done real SPORT in ages, how horrible)
and then went to dinner.........
waited for bec to finish work,
coffee with the beb - steven and bec
YAY to tirimisu (cake fanatic)

one day, i just want to buy so many slices of cakes... and try them all. how awesome would that be?

anyway sunday turned out to be all-day-spec-day
nothing fancy, just camping out at the tutorrrrssss~

my 18th coming up - yes yesyesy
somewhat excited (because everyone else seems to be)
yet a part of me doesn't want to grow old :(
fact of life yadayada
blahlblahlah

my blogs are so dodgy..... ^_^
will return to my dearest xanga .... OR even be adventurous and seek my old MSN space friend.
yea - either way, this blog is purely for rant.
(L)(L) LOVE U BLOGSPOT.

so i said to her
'we don't know how to be real friends,
we're only friends because we feel obliged to'

and that's the honest, undermining truth.

hmm.. how do i put this?
so i disregard everyone's feelings
but my own

i've been self-centred, selfish and ignorant
failing to see that.. there are people who care for me and love me
yet i just don't give a damn because in my mind, they are not important to me
my heart caught up with me today - i do love them
perhaps i love them because i feel attached to them
i feel the need to have them around
but not because i love them for who they are
- does it matter?
at this stage, no.

yes, i don't know what it is that i want right now.

what an unusual blog.

i received my marks back for an eng sac
i spent quite some time on this essay..
and i wrote a tonne before hand
but in the end, i didn't get the mark i was anticipating
i suppose, it's one thing for me to be angry at myself
but another, to take something from this
i did put in a lot of effort for it
but it just goes to show, i have a capacity for much more

now.. i ranted to a few
and some told me "that's pretty good"
when i answered, 'no it's not' - i didn't mean it as "please feed me more compliments"
no.. i answered it sincerely, it's not good enough for my own standards
there's always room for improvement.

theory #2
(obviously because 1 didn't work)
so i got some sort of food poisoning after china
its still not gone
and i feel so uncomfortable in the tummy
even though i havent had anything to eat since last night
although, i didn't even eat a lot last night
so i'm about to go out to lunch
and hopefully
after filling myself with gross food
i will vomit it back out
and feel much better
and be able to sleep
......
wake up
and meth, spec, chem, eng -it up
then again, i'm a tad too ambitious.

ps. i found a new blogspot post-er
the thing about blogs..
it may subtly uncover some of ur personality
what u believe, how u act
(well, duh - you're the one writing it)
this new blogger....
has not changed one bit.
still bagging others for their fashion sense
still big headed
still cocky
change is inevitable
no change?
well, that's just crazy.

she's backkkkkk ~

so this massive china trip was.. hmmm, good!
although i got a lil home sick, it was still worthwhile
saw so many things.. tried so many new things......
and bought quite a lot of shit. lol

cbb blogging about my trip just yet
but yday bb came and picked me up from airport~
went back to his place and passed out on his bed after showing him my photoss
woke up went to lazy moes to eat
then he drove me home!
the end
<3